Self Sabotage.
Self-sabotage is a negative state of mind in which you feel you do not deserve success. You may not recognise that now if you are in a state of self-sabotage (also know as looping).
How many times have you wanted to achieve something but never actually followed through with what you originally wanted? You then give up and do the complete opposite. You mentally beat yourself up, start arguments, comfort eat, or resort to drugs. As you may know, I have a lot of personal experience with self-sabotage.
The reason why it’s also referred to as looping is that you suddenly end up in a vicious cycle of negativity. I’m going to give you a great example. Probably because I have done it so many times over the years, and only over the past few years cut this loop. My body, mind and business have benefited from that detachment incredibly. This is also one of the most common examples is the diet industry.
I would exercise and diet perfectly. My effort in my pursuit of was on point. My weight would be coming down and I could see the beginnings of a 4-6 pack being revealed on my abs. I was on a high. I was focussed. I had mastered it. Then, out of nowhere something would happen. I would have an argument with someone, I got a speeding ticket, a family member became ill or I simply got a cold.
This little interruption would have a huge consequence to my next actions because of the already pre-programmed loop I would enter unconsciously. I had not identified this loop consciously even though it has happened multiple times in the past. My first option would have been to skip a meal and then eat something bad. From that action, I thought I failed. With the feeling of failure, I comfort ate. Then I self-loathed. Then I would be back to square one.
Can you relate to this? What are your actions during this sort of self-sabotage or looping? Write them down. Memorise them.
What we need to understand is that failure is amazing. But it’s only amazing if we learn from our failures. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a differ ant result. So learn.
Identify what situations you self-sabotage in. And then identify the actions you take during the looping process. You must stay aware of the process. This is all part of being mindful. The next time you are in a situation where you will then usually initiate looping you must act fast and take immediate action to break the loop.
If you end up initiating the looping process it’s still OK. For example. If you go and binge eat 50 Oreos. That doesn't mean you won't succeed tomorrow. Remember to learn from your mistakes. Don’t compound them.
Relationships - You’re only as good as the company you keep.
Read the above again.
Your real-life social network will contribute greatly to your success or failure. Have you got a friend, family member or co-worker that you love being around? Someone who always encourages you accepts you, loves you and simply has your interest at heart. If so these are the types of people that are going to help you succeed.
However, there WILL be friends and family around you that don’t want you to succeed. During your journey, their actions may seem very small but you must stay incredibly vigilant. What you need to remember, is the only reason they don’t want you to succeed is that they compare themselves to you, and they don’t what you having a superior perceived life to theirs.
So what do you need to be vigilant for?
You're at work or studying and a co-worker knows that you lead or you're wanting to lead a healthier lifestyle. They come over with a slice of cake and you say "no". Instead of respecting your decision they try to make you feel unreasonable by saying. “Go on a little won’t hurt.” You then feel false guilt for not accepting. You eat the cake and then you feel bad. Thus having potential further negative actions such as what we previously discussed by self-sabotaging.
The co-worker may be right. A little might not hurt if it's just once in a blue moon. However, if they are offering you things like this every day. Or even multiple times a day. It will absolutely hurt. You’ve probably already experienced this. I know I have.
Negatively draining people can also be a detriment to your success. I have been around people that are like this and especially been in relationships with these sorts of people. No matter what happens in their life they never accept or embrace any positives in their life. They will always focus on their faults and hard times. Unfortunately, you cannot help them. Nothing you say or do will change that. If you find that they are affecting your mental state then you need to distance yourself from them. As hard as it can be they won’t change. Your time can be invested in a happy, healthy, passionate relationship instead.
Remember your time is limited. So spend it wisely.
Goal Setting
You’re probably thinking why is goal setting still in the mindfulness section?
Goal setting brings up emotions. Positive emotions. Emotions that you look forward to. And by you simply visualising how it would feel to succeed at your goal gives you the same sense of feeling as when you actually achieve them. However, that feeling remains for a lot longer.
A plan without a goal is just a dream.
Your ultimate goal should be to be happy and healthy while living a vegan lifestyle. Weight loss should be a wonderful side effect of that process.
Micro Goals
There’s a Japanese philosophy called Kaizen. It simply translates to small incremental steps of self-improvement. This philosophy has helped me achieve things that I could never think were possible. Such as running my business and staying fit and healthy.
The beauty of Kaizen is that even though the tiny actions you take now may seem inconsequential. Over 365 days you will have achieved something remarkable. Not only that you have built up discipline.
Kaizen is subjective. And you need to make the action you take each day so small that you feel that it's close to effortless. It can include things such as; drinking a few extra sips of water a day, running 10 extra steps each day. Eating a mouthful more of greens a day. Waking up 1 minute earlier. Going to sleep one minute earlier and so on.
Kaizen is the foundation of your short, medium and long-term goals. So don’t underestimate the power of it.
Short-Term Goals should be spanned out between a 1-4 week period. It could simply be an accumulation of your Kaizen micro-goals or it can be something a little bigger than that such as running 5k or even 10k a couple of times a week. Or simply completing a minimum of 3 workouts each week.
I am not a massive fan of “weight” goals. Ie losing 4lb a week etc. Instead, focus simply on how you feel in your clothes. Are they getting looser?
Medium-Term Goals should be spanned out between 4-12 week period. I love using holidays and travelling as a medium-term goal. I may be walking a lot so I like to keep fit, or It’s a beach break so I want to get my abs out. Having regular holidays also keeps you focused on your training and diet. At this point your clothes should be feeling very loose thus you may need to do a little clothes shopping. What an amazing feeling that is. It’s at this point you need to throw out all of your clothes that are too large for you. Do not give yourself the option to go back to came you came from. Enjoy giving your expensive old clothes to charity and enjoy this exciting time.
Long-Term Goals should be spanned out over 6-12 months. It takes at least 6 months to build a good habit. This may seem a long way away. So during the early goal stages, your long-term goal may change a few times. However, events such as weddings, family gatherings, reunions and long holidays are great things to focus on. By this point, your body and mind should be unrecognisable to your former self. And don’t forget your ultimate goal. Be happy and healthy and everything else with fit into place.
Failed goals.
If you fail you must throw in the tail and give up….(DON’T EVER DO THIS.)
Failure is the pathway to success. Remember, if it were easy everyone would already have the body and mind of their dreams.
When do you fail ask yourself why you failed? What can you do in the future to avoid the same mistake and thus succeed in your goal? As long as you continue to learn. You continue to take positive action. You will reach and maintain your goal. All you will need to do is simply adjust your time frame on your goal.
If you feel like your failing accept that feeling and act upon it positively. If you let that feeling manifest you will ultimately fail.
You will inevitably fail at some stage. I have. And my best-performing clients have. If any trainer says otherwise they're deceiving you. There’s no such this as perfection. Remember that.
HEC-L Hunger, Energy, Cravings. Loop.
The foods you consume will create a plethora of hormonal responses throughout your body. The good news is the plant-based vegan lifestyle optimizes all hormones throughout the body. However, when it comes to weight loss it’s always good practice to monitor your body's responses to foods and drinks you consume. This can be achieved by focussing on HEC (Hunger Energy Cravings) and being mindful of this loop.
My golden rule to my successful clients in the early stages of weight loss is that if you’re hungry, eat. However, don’t mistake this hunger for dehydration as the symptoms are similar in the stomach. So make sure you drink plenty of water throughout the day.
Looping HEC. What happens when you become hungry? You start to drain of energy, willpower, motivation. You may get angry, irritable or subdued. It’s at this point your body craves foods that contain high amounts of processed sugars and fats such as pizza, doughnuts and cake. The likelihood is that if you are hungry you're going to make a less optimal decision for your food choices thus hindering your success.
It’s so important for you to be mindful of hunger and be proactive. Make sure you have the correct foods around you such as fresh fruit and nuts at times of possible unpredictable hunger, so you can then make better food choices.
Mindful Recap.
I understand that you think this is deep. And it should be. It is the most important of your journey. Without a healthy mind, how do you expect to get a healthy body? You must work on this daily.
Remember. Be aware of your emotions, either accept them and move on. Or take action to change them for the better.
What’s your why? Answer this with clarity. Don’t be scared to dig up bad memories to fuel your desire to succeed.
Talk to yourself better. Use NLP to change how you treat yourself. With practice, you will understand that you are worth more than you’re unconsciously mentally feeding yourself.
Remove your emotions from food. Food is now fuel. If in doubt ask yourself “is this going to help or hinder my progress?”
Identify which situation you tend to initiate self-sabotage looping. Make a list of what you can do to either cut the loop or prevent it in the first place.
Distance yourself from negative and toxic relationships as much as you possibly can.
Set goals. Kaizen (Micro), Short, Medium and Long-Term Goals. Why are they important to you? And remember to keep them realistic.
If you fail to meet them learn from beautiful failure. Don’t let it beat you.
Educate and Dominate
Daniel Welstead - Plant-Based Vegan Personal Trainer in Sevenoaks